Welcome to Dog-Aholics Anonymous

Good Afternoon.
I AM a dog-aholic.
I would like to welcome all of you to this month's meeting of Dog-aholics
Anonymous. Some of you are here tonight because a friend or relative brought
you. You may be sitting here thinking that you are OK and don't really need
any help. It is not easy to admit that you are a dog-aholic and it is even
harder to bring yourself to a DA meeting for help DA is here to assist you.

I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to more than three of
the following, you have come to the right place.

1. Can you say "bitch" in public without blushing?

2. Do you drive a mini-van with all the seats removed replaced by crates when everyone else drives a real car?

3. Do you have more than one vehicle? One for you and one for the dogs?

4. Do you spend your holidays going to shows, clinics and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?

5. If you do go overseas, is it to a dog show vacation to Crufts?

6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust?

7. Do you consider formal wear to be skirts with pockets and flat non-skid shoes?

8. Is your interior decorator Cherrybrook or JB Wholesale?

9. Was your furniture and carpeting chosen with your dogs in  mind?

10. Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?

11. Do you find non-dog people boring?

12. Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs and dog magazines?

13. Do you get up before dawn to walk/train the dogs? Go to dog shows? Clinics? [but have trouble getting up for "work?"]

14. If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets? Do those pockets often contain bits of liver, cheese or squeakers?

15. When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they have and pity them if they don't have one?

16. Do you remember the name of their dog sooner than you remember their name?

If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.

If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.

My advice to all of you with three or more YES's is to sit back and smile,
turn to the smiling person next to you, and know that your  life will always
be filled with good friends and good dogs and it  will never be boring.

Author: Doris Engerberson