The Unwritten Rules of the Dog Show Ring

1. After trying forever to obtain that elusive second major, you have no problem getting the third major the next day.
2. The novice people that enter every show, and always show up even if the breed judging is at 8 am and the show is a six hour drive, will not show up when the count is exactly a major. Or if they do, the dog that finished yesterday will be moved up and break the major anyway.
3. If you attempt to build a major, one of the extras will win, never the dog the major was worked around.
4. The day you don't take an umbrella or raincoat to the show because the weather is beautiful at your house, is the day it is raining (or snowing) at the outdoor show site.
5. Although all dog shows have lots of vendors, the day you forget the tack box is the day there are NO vendors on the premises selling show leads.
6. If you go to the trouble of checking out of the hotel before leaving for the show, you will not win the breed.
7. If you don't check out, you will win the breed, and there will be no time to do so before groups.
8. Your national will always be scheduled so that you are forced to move your immature puppy up, by just a few days.
9. Your dog will decide to completely blow coat just after entries close for the national, which you have already committed major bucks to attend.
10. If you are showing dogs in two different breeds that have the same judge, it is inevitable that one breed will be the first one in at 8:00am, and the other will be the last one of the day at 2:30 p.m.
11. The day you say, "If Rover doesn't win today, this will be his last show and I'm putting him in a pet home" will be the day he wins a four point major. (After which, of course, the waiting list of pet homes disappears and he never gets another point.)
12. And of course we all know about the puppy we sold as a pet with a spay/neuter contract. And his littermate that we kept as a show prospect.
13. If your dog does better behind other dogs, you will draw the first place number and the judge will insist on catalog order.
14. If your dog does better at the front of the line, the judge will allow you to line up in any order and someone will beat you to the first spot.
15. If the judge is requiring the dogs to be shown in catalog order, your male special will be sandwiched in between two bitches in full standing season. If you are showing a bitch special in season, she will be the only girl in a ring full of attractive males. (And if you decide to leave your special home because he or she has gone boy/girl crazy, none of the other specials entered will show up.)
16. The judge you didn't enter under because he/she hates your dog will draw an overload and your breed will be given to a judge who loves your dog.
17. Whenever a premium list includes a group judge that loves your special, the breed judge will be the one who told you to neuter it and put it in a pet home. (But if you don't enter, remember that rule 16 applies).
18. A particular judge will ALWAYS put the Winners Dog up for Best of Winners, unless YOUR dog goes WD and there is only a major in bitches.
19. If you enter a small show where there are normally no specials or only one, three of the top ten dogs will be flown in from all over the country.
20. If you do win an easy breed at a small show in Podunk Nowhere, you will then learn that a dozen top dogs and professional handlers have flown in from the farthest corners of the country, and every one of them will show up in YOUR group.
21. If you win the group, you will discover that the BIS judge's favorite dog, who is the all time top winning dog in its breed, has just won it's group, and the BIS judge has recently given it a BISS.