A dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

A cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity .My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors
by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -
must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and
repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on
their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and
brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed
and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working
according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I
was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement
was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.  The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can
wait; it is only a matter of time.